Menjalani hari-hari sebagai pekerja eight to five, ditambah  menghadapi kepadatan kota di ruas-ruas jalan yang sama dari hari Senin sampai Juma dan bertemu dengan orang-orang yang sama, alias yah kehidupan yang sedikit monoton tersebut tak elak membuat saya mudah sekali terkena burn out. Buat yang masih asing dengan istilah burn out, saya kutip pengertian dari Wikipedia :

Burn out adalah istilah psikologi yang digunakan untuk menggambarkan perasaan kegagalan dan kelesuan akibat tuntutan yang terlalu membebankan tenaga dan kemampuan seseorang.

Sekali lagi, menggambarkan perasaan kegagalan dan kelesuan akibat perasaan tuntutan yang terlalu membebankan~

Sebagai usaha untuk mengatasi burn out, saat weekend saya isi dengan kegiatan yang saya sebut sebagai upaya "life balancing", di luar kebutuhan duniawi (baca : bekerja rutin). Misalnya berkomunitas, menyalurkan hobi, dll. Namun ketika kegiatan life balancing lainnya sampai juga pada titik jenuh, yang biasa saya lakukan adalah : go to somewhere to solo trip!

Saya tidak bisa tidak mengelak, menikmati perjalanan antar kota sendirian adalah hal yang sangat saya nikmati. Ada sensasi-sensasi tak tergantikan ketika melakukan perjalanan sendirian (solo trip) dengan berpergian ramai-ramai (travelling yang niat maksudnya). Sementara kalau solo trip niatnya memang untuk kebutuhan batiniyah : salah satu cara mengatasi burn out, normalisasi ritme hidup, ambil jarak dengan rutinitas untuk me-redefine kembali makna-makna yang terlanjur tergerus oleh target-target yang rigid. Serta… membangun keintiman dengan diri sendiri. Ya, saya memang se-egois itu dalam mencintai diri sendiri, wkwkw. Selain sensasi tak tergantikan, perjalanan-perjalanan yang dilakukan sendiri pun lagi dan lagi membuat saya ketagihan, mungkin karena… terlalu lama sendiri, terlalu lama aku asik sendiri~ hahaha!

Ada beberapa tantangan yang sebetulnya dihadapi untuk melakukan solo trip, dari mulai perencanaan sampai eksekusi. Tentu satu kelebihan tak terhindarkan dalam solo trip : tak perlu menyatukan banyak kepala, tak perlu melebur rencana-rencana ke satu kesepakatan. Semuanya dengan mudahnya terserah saya! Semau saya! Suka-suka saya! (percayalah kalian, sensasi melakukan hal-hal yang semaunya sendiri itu asik sekali, wkwk). Tetapi tantangannya : semua rencana harus disiapkan sendiri, semua informasi harus dikumpulkan sendiri, itinerary harus disusun sendiri, semua booking/pemesanan ya harus dipesan sendiri, termasuk semua pertimbangan harga termurah terbaik terkait transportasi, akomodasi, dan konsumsi juga harus diputuskan sendiri!

Solo trip model begini biasanya memang saya maksimalkan di Sabtu – Minggu saja, atau paling banter bonus tambah libur hari Senin. Dan cukup satu bulan sekali. Beruntungnya memang, saya selalu melibatkan Traveloka sebagai platform booking transportasi (kereta termurah dengan jadwal terkondusif) dan penginapan murah meriah bahagia. Untuk destinasi wisata di tempat tujuan dan destinasi kuliner (siapa yang ingin ketinggalan mencicipi kuliner khas saat jalan-jalan?), saya googling aja atau pakai metode tanya teman yang punya jam terbang perihal jalan-jalan. Eittts, tapi itu metode jadul, sebelum ada Traveloka Xperience.

Mulai tahun ini, Traveloka melebarkan sayapnya dengan melengkapi produk dan layanan untuk kebutuhan travel dan lifestyle dalam Traveloka Xperience.

Traveloka Xperience merupakan platform pemesanan beragam produk aktivitas liburan dan gaya hidup di Asia Tenggara. Catat! Beragam produk aktivitas liburan dan gaya hidup~ di Asia Tenggara! Semua kebutuhan travel dalam satu platform! Bayangkan!

Cukup ketik aja di kolom search mau eksplor daerah mana, terus keluar deh pilihan Ragam Aktvitas : Atraksi, Tur, Pelengkap Travel, Makanan & Minuman, Event, Spa & Kecantikan, Kursus & Workshop, dan Olahraga. Misalnya saya mau ke Jogja, setelah ketik “Yogyakarta” di field search pada Traveloka Xperience, maka hasil yang keluar kayak gini nih :


Kemudian, misalkan saya pilih "Atraksi". Maka akan keluar pilihan paket atraksi beserta harga dan ratingnya. Sebagai seorang penikmat seni pertunjukkan, tiket Ramayanan Ballet cukup menarik minat saya. Dengan harga coret (iya, harga coret, alias harga di bawah harga sebenarnya, hmmm~) sebesar 94ribu rupiah. Lalu lakukan booking tiket. Beres! Itu baru satu contoh, untuk solo trip yang memaksimalkan weekend, kebayangkan jadi betapa efisien dan efektif (plus lebih murah) perjalanan saya?

So, Traveloka Xperience dapat dengan mudahnya membuat saya merencanakan #XperienceSeru untuk mengatasai burn out!

I have a close friend, even though we have never been involved in intense communication, but we know that we are interdependent. I only call him if I need someone and when nobody available for me. I will call him whenever I need someone to tell about my pain and my stupidity. For example, when someone hurt me, when someone wasted me, when I feel very stupid, when I feel like a failure, when I can't see anything positive in my life, etc. He never talkative to respon my story, he just hear me. Sometimes he is focused, sometimes he is distracted into the social media timeline or games on his cellphone. No matter for me, someone just hear me without talk a lot, it was more than enough.

So does he. He just call me when he need a friend to talk or just need a friend for dinner. He more often tells about his ex. When he confuse because of his-ex, he will call me. And we will meet to dinner. Even though he always knew when he told me about his ex I always said that he was stupid, very stupid. But, I always hear him, however much I hate his stories about his ex. We really are like two fools.

This friendship has been going on for about 5 years.

One day, when someone deeply-hurt me for a long time, he said:
"I care you. Who is always there when you need someone, Yaz? Him or me? Does he ever come to you whenever you need?? Does he care about you? Stop your stupidity! But it's up to you if you don't have a problem with your stupidity. I care you more than anyone."

I was speechless when I heard that, but it made me think a little. Yes, he is right. He always there when I need. When I ask for help, he rarely refuses. Otherwise, someone who is always be subject of my story is not necessarily there when I need him. And he never showed signs that he cared about me.. even I really care about him. The subject who I'm talking about is just wanna take advantage of me. However much I feel sad when he is sad, and feel worried when he is not okay. Just it, the reality that I must accept. However much I care about his happiness and his inner peace. He still never really cared about me. A fact that I must accept. Really, how paradoxical life is.

When someone hurt me with his indifference, my close friend said that he cares me more than anyone. When I wanna say the same sentence to someone else, "I care you, more than anyone". To someone else who never cared about my concern for him.

Let's back to the story about my close friend, first leave a story about someone else who makes me stupid. In recent months, I never told to my close friend about my stupidity. I never request to meet. So did he. We maybe busy, and never again tell each other's stupidity. Even though I know I'm still stupid, maybe he's still stupid because of the memories of his ex. It's just that we've never shared stories about each other's stupidity. If we contacted each other when we felt we needed friends, now we don't contact each other at all.. at all. Last month, I met him and several other friends. At that meeting I realized he already didn't really care about me again.

Someone who once said with confidence, "I care you more than anyone.", finally no longer care about me. This is actually not really a problem for me. In my life I often make friends, and lose friends. That's part of life. Maybe I don't know when I'll meet again with people who care about me.

Sumber gambar : pinterest

In this post, my focus is not on my friends or someone else who ignore me. But the focus is on my reflection on "caring about someone". Have you ever cared about someone who hasn't even cared about you for a second? And, has someone ever cared about you but you have never cared so much about that person?

For me, care about someone is quite tiring, especially if that person has never cared about my concern for him. But can I suddenly change my attitude and my attention? Being totally indifferent to someone I have cared about for all this time? It is not impossible. After all, my close friend has proven it. At least he looks like he doesn't care about me anymore, after our friendship year.

And how difficult is it to break away from our care about someone? After so far we have been playing around with our concern, and it's tiring. Very tiring. Does caring about someone really make us tired?

And which one do you choose? Still care about someone who doesn't care about you that much? Or resting from this tiring concern?

I actually never expect someone will care about me like I care about him. I just want... someone who I care about is understand that I care about him, even in some cases, beyond his concern for himself. It might sound very hyperbole, and it's hard to believe. But that's the truth, and I getting tired of surviving in this condition.

This question is indeed a bit painful, what do you do when you care about someone who never care  about you?

Sometimes you have give up on people, not because you don't care. But they don't.

Lahir di Indonesia, keturunan dari orang tua yang berkewarganegaraan Indonesia, dan tinggal di Indonesia (seumur-umur), membuat saya automatis memiliki status kewarganegaraan Indonesia, sejak lahir hingga kini. Bagaimana jika saya ini blasteran? Atau tinggal di luar negeri dalam waktu lama? Bagaimana cara saya bisa mendapatkan status kewarganegaraan Indonesia? Dan seberapa penting, sih, status kewarganegaraan bagi seseorang?

Masih ingat Gloria Natapradja Hamel? Gadis blasteran Prancis- Indonesia yang sudah antusias menjadi salah satu pasukan pengibaran bendera pada HUT ke 71 RI tetapi batal bertugas karena statusnya bukan WNI (Warga Negara Indonesia).

Nah, sebegitu pentingnya lah status kewarganegaraan. Mungkin kita dapat kehilangan banyak kesempatan karena urusan administratif yang sangat dasar ini. Sebagai sebagai syarat akan banyak hak yang berhubungan dengan peran sebagai warga negara, status kewarganegaraan pun membuat kita memperoleh kepastian hukum, loh.

Lantas, bagaimana cara mengurus status kewarganegaraan? Mungkin sebagian kita berpikir bahwa status kewaeganegaraan diurus di Direktorat Jenderal Imigrasi Kementerian Hukum dan Hak Asasi Manusia (Kemenkumham). Tapi ternyata salah! Dokumen kewarganegaraan dapat di Direktorat Jenderal Administrasi Hukum Umum (Ditjen AHU).

Logo Ditjen AHU

Apa pula Direktorat Jenderal Administrasi Hukum Umum (Ditjen AHU)? Yuk kenalan dengan direktorat dibentuk sejak tahun 2000 ini!

Pengambilan antrian di kantor Ditjen AHU

Ditjen AHU merupakan pemekaran dari Direktorat Hukum dan Perundang-undangan. Dengan visi “masyarakat memperoleh kepastian hukum”, Ditjen AHU fokus paa pelayanan hukum masyarakat, yang mencakup hampir semua bidang hukum secara umum. Dengan luasnya pelayanan hukum yang dilakukan Ditjen AHU, sang pemimpin saat ini, Direktur Jenderal Administrasi Hukum Umum (Dirjen AHU), Cahyo Rahadian Muzhar, dibantu tugas oleh satu orang Sekretaris Jenderal dan lima orang Direktur. Para direktur tersebut mengurusi pelayanan untuk bidang Pidana, Perdata, Tata Negara (urusan kewarganegaraan tadi misalnya), Otoritas Pusat Hukum Internasional, dan tentunya Teknologi Informasi.

Pelayanan di kantor Ditjen AHU

Nah, apa saja sih layanan hukum Ditjen AHU? Secara total ada 93 jenis layanan hukum yang dilayani oleh Ditjen AHU. Seolah tak mau ketinggalan dalam gelombang Revolusi Industri 4.0, sebagian layanan Ditjen AHU sudah bisa diakses via online, artinya gak perlu antri dan datang langsung ke kantor pelayanan! Sebanyak 47 di antaranya sudah bisa dilayani melalui aplikasi AHU Online atau bisa diakses melalui ahu.go.id, dengan layanan berbasis online. Semantara 43 layanan sisanya masih manual.

Logo AHU Online

Dilansir dari ahu.go.id, selain status kewarganegaraan, berikut ini beberapa layanan Ditjen AHU yang sudah dapat diakses via online :

1. Aneka administrasi Penunjang Kemudahan Berusaha
Beberapa tahun belakangan, pemerintah menggenjot kinerja kemudahan berusaha (ease of doing business). Salah satu kontribusi AHU dengan mempercepat pembentukan badan usaha. Dengan layanan AHU Online, pendirian dan pengintegrasian CV (Comanditaire Venootschap) dan Perseroan Terbatas bisa secara digital. Tidak hanya mendaftarkan badan usahanya, kalau mau pesan nama perseroannya juga bisa melalui AHU Online.

2. Membangun Organisasi atau Perkumpulan 
Tak hanya membuat CV atau PT, kita-kita yang mau membangun organisasi baik tujuan profit maupun non-profit bisa mendaftarkannya secara online. Semua jenis perkumpulan, di antaranya bentuk Yayasan, Koperasi, dan Partai Politik (Parpol). Seperti badan usaha, bisa pesan nama dulu melalui AHU Online.

3. Pengurusan Wasiat 
Kalau punya aset atau harta yang ke depannya bisa bermanfaat buat keturunan kita, atau justru bisa disalahgunakan pihak lain, atau punya potensi konflik, ada baiknya membuat wasiat dan mendaftarkan ke Ditjen AHU. Bikinwasiatnya tetap di depan Notaris tetapi sebaiknya dilengkapi dengan pelaporan melalui AHU Online.

4. Fidusia
Pernah ndak sih teman-teman beli kendaraan bermotor, atau barang elektronik melalui mekanisme utang piutang? Kalau ada rencana untuk beli barang melalui mekanisme utang piutang ini, ada baiknya teman-teman mempelajari cara mendapatkan jaminan fidusia (pengalihan hak kepemilikan suatu benda atas dasar kepercayaan). Jangan sampai sudah susah-susah bayar lalu dengan mudah ditarik barangnya.

5. Pelayanan Notaris
Masing – masing layanan di atas mungkin saja butuh pelayanan dari notaris. Nah, Ditjen AHU juga yang berkaitan dengan para notaris. Mulai dari pendaftaran notaris dan pendaftaran ujian pengangkatan notaris.

Ingin tau lebih banyak layanan yang difasilitasi AHU Online? Langsung cek ke situsnya ya ahu.go.id.

Nah, demikian sekelumit perkenalan dengan Ditjen AHU, semoga bermanfaat.
Semoga ke depannya lebih banyak lagi pelayanan yang dapat difasilitasi melalui AHU Online. Dan, semoga kemudahan via online ini dapat memudahkan masyarakat soal administrasi hukum, ya :)

photo source : pinterest

In terms of geometry, distance is a number that indicates how far the object changes position through a certain path. While the physics formula, distance can be known from time divided by speed. The understanding of geometry and physics that is inherent in our daily lives, at least applied in online transportation applications: distance becomes a multiplier variable at a price per kilometer. I have long thought about the mysterious meaning of distance. Distance is not only about physical perspectives. We are always familiar with the definition of distance physically. This limitation finally makes us stutter in interpreting many things about distance.

Physical distance becomes relative and is directly proportional to density (density: the ratio between the width of the road surface and the volume of objects-humans and vehicles). Increasingly dense, bush feels far away, and vice versa. The distance to understand a village may feel close, because its density is low. While the distance between the UKI Busway Stop and the actual BKN is not up to 500 meters, it could be further away due to traffic effects: high density.

My stuttering about distance started when I realized I was involved in a group of people: engaging in their uproar and laughter. But at the same time I feel very distant from them, how is this possible? While physically, we are in a group at the same table. In this condition, understanding the geographical distance is certainly a failure. The feeling of being alone in a crowded world covered me. Like being thrown in a world of different dimensions. There is another perceptive distance that cannot be answered with a geometric perspective of distance. Erich Fromm explains a little about the psychological process why a person still feels lonely even when he is in a crowd, in the book "Escape The Freedom". Maybe the book is also an inspiration for the creator of the song Dewa 19, the snippet of the lyrics: “di dalam keraiaman aku masih merasa sepi, sendiri memikirkan utang kamu..”. But that explanation is only a part of the entire book, and does not answer my question about the riddle of distance.

My stuttering doesn't only apply when I'm in the middle of a group of people, even confronted by one or two people, directly, within a physical distance of only a few centimeters, often makes me feel far from those people. . Even though we communicate directly, it is not diverted to each other's gadget. This kind of strange feeling is rather disturbing me.

I often guess the condition as social distance and psychological distance. The habit of "reading" the interlocutor, from a social background that will certainly affect one's thinking patterns, is sometimes easy to make me create what I call the social distance between me and my interlocutor. The social distance that sometimes makes me feel inferior to others, maybe that's what makes me feel so far away when I'm with one or two people even though we are physically close: distant social inequalities. On the other hand, the same, or similar social background, makes me feel quite close to several people, both when our physical distance is indeed close or far.

Social distance finally creates a feeling of inferiority that is difficult to penetrate with physical distance. Or even though it does not reach the sense of inferiority but social distance has a big enough effect, even almost cannot be tolerated. Maybe many people do not believe, that I have a certain inferior side, hahahha.

My stuttering does not stop at social distance. There is what I call psychological distance, does not make sense and is even more inexplicable. Of course I have psychological ties that default to my family. There are strong blood ties, which cannot be removed with physical distance or with minimal communication. My family type is not the type of family that obeys affirmations, but that doesn't mean we don't have psychological ties. We have every way to show affection and attention, and not by visualizing affirmations. Although for example in some circumstances I also feel psychologically far from my family, but not often, only in abnormal conditions. Of course many people will agree with me about psychological distance in the family. That is something that still makes sense and won't make me stutter.

Then, psychological distance with certain people outside the family, how is the explanation? This is my other stutter. In life, you will definitely find people who are physically and socially distant - even very distant - with you, but there are absurd things that are unexplained that make you feel that you have a very close psychological bond with these people. On the other hand, in your life you might also meet people who are physically and socially close to you, but there are absurd things inexplicable that make you feel psychologically distant from these people. This riddle about psychological distance is the most difficult thing for me to be able to understand. Intense meetings and intense communication with people do not necessarily make us feel close. Conversely, meetings and communication that can only be counted on the fingers - without the help of the toes - can make us feel close to certain people.

I think technology has succeeded in cutting someone's distance from others. Text messages, voice, and facial movements that can be transferred through frequencies in the air. Although communication is not direct; communication comes in the form of a few inches of the screen, but it is quite capable of cutting physical distances. Modern transportation such as fast trains or airplanes can also penetrate densities to make physical distance completely meaningless: making distances no longer directly proportional to the time required. But it seems that many people still feel strangers to the closest people - physically -. For example, a husband and wife who have lived together for years, communicating every day from morning to next morning again, isn't it still potential to become a stranger to each other's partner, right?

Technology has succeeded in cutting someone's physical distance from others, but what kind of technology can make a person not feel alienated in a group of people even if they laugh together? What type of technology can destroy a person's social distance and psychological distance from others? What kind of technology can make someone feel close socially and psychologically to someone who is beside him / her, instead of dreaming of someone else who is far from him? Another person who is not at his side / her side.

Admit it, because being too accustomed to accepting definitions in the physical dimension does make us stuttering in many things. And this stuttering is always annoying.

photo source : pinterest

I never imagined that growing old would be boring.

When you can not hope to anyone, except yourself. Even hoping so bad to be heard, unless heard by your own ears and heart. When you must still look ordinary to others. When you have to remain a standby friend for anyone. Even when you start to fall in love with someone, and you are too lazy for the possibility of a broken heart prematurely.

Meeting with many people who actually can not eliminate your loneliness and emptiness. No matter how close you are to the people around you, you still feel very distant from them. A very real distance, though hidden so smooth. Distance that will remind you of your loneliness. About the deep empty spots that make you sick, even though no one hurt you .. The things that you think will eliminate your loneliness, or at least make you forget that you are the most lonely human in the world, are things that actually trap you in your loneliness.

Growing old, it turns out really annoying.

Growing old is an increasingly chronic laziness to meet anyone. Laziness even experience anything. Laziness to speak, laziness even to listen. Even though the whole world seems to never stop demanding you to always be willing to listen to them.

All fears that must be faced alone. Only you and yourself. Even sympathy that you cannot hope will be spoken by others to you. Sympathizing with yourself is the most likely choice.

Life goes on. But your ankles are shocked over something you can't avoid. You want to be truly free. And embrace many new things: settling in a strange place and getting to know strangers (again). Before returning to being a stranger, even to yourself.

Suddenly… you want to disappear, really disappear. People will forget that you ever existed, even on a birth certificate. You will find a way to completely disappear. To never be where you are now, never be known by anyone, has nothing to do with any form of life and anyone's life.

You hope you never plant seeds for anyone, or never become seeds for anything that can grow.

On the count of three ... taraaa... you are lost from anyone's memory. Being a puff of coffee smoke that never lasts long in the air.

Just disappear. And in the next second you are in a very strange place. With coffee, music, the soft sound of the wind, and your skull which contains nothing. Without thoughts about tomorrow: anxiety about tomorrow, or anxiety about a quieter tomorrow.

Growing old is a crazy dream to disappear suddenly. Or moksa, and get into the body of a cat - an animal that you hate your whole life - feels much better. Instead of feeling unspoken loneliness.

Growing old is always annoying. Before finding a way to disappear suddenly, you finally, once again, must remain grateful for the life that has been lived so far. Once again, must continue to undergo and undergo again. While hoping that God will keep your heart wide, however narrow your life feels.

Until you realize, what you really want is not the ability to disappear suddenly. Actually you just want someone to be a part of yourself and your life. Someone who wants to listen to you anytime. Someone who is willing to stay there for you, however handling you, is the most annoying thing in the world. Someone who willingly understands you, no matter how difficult it is.

Once again, someone who understands you. Someone who really knows that you have used your entire life to understand yourself, and you still need extra time to succeed.

And, you are startled to imagine that impossibility.

How can you expect someone to know and understand you while you realize that understanding yourself is the most difficult maze puzzle?

Growing old is a feeling of being tired to understand yourself.

Yes, so far. And I'm tired.

#BukanCurhat #TapiTjurhat

Jika ada kesempatan untukku untuk meyakinkan orang lain agar yakin dengan ku, ku rasa kesempatan itu tak akan aku gunakan. Bagiku, untuk apa perlunya kita meyakinkan orang yang menggantungkan sebuah keyakinan atau keraguan berdasarkan dorongan dari orang lain? Untuk apa meyakinkan orang yang bahkan untuk sekadar yakin atau ragu perlu meminta pengaruh orang lain sebelum memutuskan sendiri? Untuk apa sebuah keyakinan orang lain -yang semestinya ia yang putuskan sendiri- mesti bergantung pada usaha kita untuk meyakininnya?

Aku tidak akan memilih berusaha untuk meyakinkan orang lain, hingga ia yang tadinya ragu menjadi yakin karena pengaruh ku. Keyakinan maupun keraguan mengandung tanggung jawab dan konsekuensinya masing-masing. Dan semestinya itu menjadi keputusan yang sangat personal tanpa intervensi orang lain. Memaksakan orang lain menjadi yakin dengan dorongan dari sudut pandang kita kurasa hanya melahirkan keyakinan yang jauh dari paripurna. Dan aku bukan orang yang mau melakukan kesia-siaan semacam itu. Yakin ya yakin saja. Ragu ya ragu saja, jangan pernah meminta orang lain untuk berusaha membuat mu yakin.

Lain hal jika ada seseorang yang sudah yakin dan memintaku untuk menjaga keyakinnya dan mengingatkan terhadap keyakinannya itu. Aku akan dengan senang hati memenuhi permintaan tersebut.

Jika kamu ragu, aku tidak akan berusaha meyakinkan mu tentang apapun. Sekalipun kamu meminta.

Tapi jika kamu yakin, aku yang paling dulu membuatmu lebih yakin, tanpa kamu minta. Sampai kelak kamu tidak pernah menyesali keputusan mu yang telah berani yakin…bersamaku.

Silahkan mengambil jeda untuk meyakinkan diri dulu. Tanpa aku perlu mengemis untuk keyakinanmu. Aku selalu ada di ujung jalan itu:

ujung jalan persis setelah setapak jalan keraguanmu habis.